its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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