dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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