Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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