i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
