Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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