His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
