WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
