i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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