Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
