Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
