Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
