Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
