you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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