Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
