I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
