i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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