just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
