put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
