Pappa wants mamma naked
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
