Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
May the power of my ass compel you!!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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