Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
