Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
ugly people sure do ruin things
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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