Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
