so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
