I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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