I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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