real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
