are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
