So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
