i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
