I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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