It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
