I am spending my child support on dildos
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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