Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
