Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
