Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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