Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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