i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
