he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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