WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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