I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
