i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
