He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
