i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
