covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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