I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
