Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
