Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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