you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
