Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
