I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You need a sexual gate keeper
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
