Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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