Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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