one two three fourrrrnication!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you had me at cake vodka
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize