so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my being single is dangerous.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
