I am midnight drunk by noon
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
