Please, let me fuck your mom
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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