why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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