he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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