pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
