I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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